Monday, September 19, 2005

creativity . . . stunted . . . erg. lOsing ability to form cogent sentences . . . grammar apart falling. punctuat.ion !rules longe?r no apply ,,,,, h.,e;lp m"e spel ba:d kent sh;peel $kent schpeel l)ong grrr eeeennnneeeee

Isn't she cute?

Verona - Flower girl and my new cousin

Friday, September 16, 2005

Here at boerishbwoy, we've noticed that people around the world vote, watch their leaders, and even have political opinions. Through these political opinions we can determine which side of the political spectrum they are on. That is, we can figure out if they are "left-wing" or "right-wing." The following chart will bring clarity to what these titles mean and demonstrate how much insight these titles can inject into the political debate. If either of these categories do not describe you, then you have a problem, my friend. Take a long hard look in the mirror, try to conform to one wing or the other or forever risk losing your political relevence.

Left - Commie, Pinko, Bleeding Heart, Godless Liberal
Right - Fascist, Fundamentalist, Nazi, Capitalist Pig
Favourite Meal:
Left - Tofu and soy-milk (with maybe a light salad)
Right - Beer and hot dogs (with maybe a medium-rare steak)
Favourite Musicians:
Left - Kenny G, Enya, and Peter Gabriel
Right - Toby Keith, Wagner, and Lynyrd Skynyrd
Left - Hackey Sack, Chaining themselves to doors, and reciting poetry
Right - Hunting, pummeling mailboxes with bats, and drowning kittens
First Victims of Capital Punishment:
Left - Trotskyists and other betrayers of the revolution.
Right - Pedophiles, Murderers, Drug Dealers, Pimps, Prostitutes, Thieves, Jay-walkers, and the like.
Iconic Figurehead:
Left -

Right -

Uniform of Choice:
Left - Birkenstocks, Tie-Dyed T-shirt with an anti-corporate slogan or a pro-marijuana message, Beret, Hemp Sweater, Ponytail, and spectacles.
Right - Flannel Overcoat, Tight Jeans, Leather Cowboy Boots, and Cowboy Hat
Boxers or Briefs:
Left - Commando
Right - Briefs, baby, briefs.
Left - Circusses, Butchers, Racists, Televangelists, "The Man", Racist Butchers, Office Monkeys, Religious Fundamentalists, Politicians, and the suburbs.
Right - Miscegenists, Protesters, Abortionists, Homosexuals, Atheists, Professors, Evolutionists, Minorities, Crack-Smoking Hippies, and Vegan Restaurants.
Left - Marijuana, Minorities, Homosexuals, Vegan Restaurants, Evolution, and chocolate
Right - Beer, Whiskey, Circusses, Butchers, Televangelists, the suburbs, and chocolate

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Kanye West, a successful hip hop artist and producer, has become notorious for his recent comments on a live aid broadcast for Katrina. A somewhat nervous-looking Kanye strayed from the prepared script by noting, first of all, that federal aid seemed to be arriving "as slow as possible." Kanye also said, "I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family it says they are looting if you see a white family it says they are looking for food. . . . We already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war now fighting another way and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us."
There was five second delay for the broadcast but the censor had been instructed to bleep out any expletives and not any uncomfortable political criticism. That is why the world was able to hear Kanye clearly say, "George Bush doesn't care about black people."
There was an uproar in the media over Kanye's comments. Many white people were incensed, claiming that race had nothing to do with the slow response. One conservative radio host even dubbed Kanye a "black-face klansman." Nevermind the ostracism that a black-faced klansman would fall victim to at all of the klan rallies, the question is was race a factor in the slow response?
I think it had a role but I don't believe that it was the deciding factor. George W. Bush is notorious for his long vacations and for his, um, how do you say, complete and utter disregard for news in any form? Bush is the man who proudly stated that he does not read newspapers or when he does read them he "glance(s) at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who . . . probably read the stories themselves." Newsweek recently reported in "Katrina: How Bush Blew it", that his aides were somewhat hesitant to break the news to the often "cold and snappish" president that he would have to cut his five-week vacation short by two days.
So, no, Bush did not deliberately ignore the storm warnings in order to leave thousands of blacks dead, homeless, and desperate. Bush, it seems, was just oblivious to what was happening. Oh, he knew there was a bad storm alright, he just "misunderestimated" its size and intensity. Bush, aware that the levees were broken, cut his vacation short but nevertheless flew to San Diego (New Orleans is the other way, eh Mr. President?) where he accepted a guitar from country singer Mark Wills. What kind of callous cold-hearted leader could stand around smiling and strumming a guitar while his country is undergoing a horrible natural disaster?
Bush, of course, is not the only one to blame here. There were municipal and state-wide failures. The federal failures, however, are so glaringly obvious and embarrassing, that even Bill O'Reilly should be able to see them (he can't, but he should). Bush withheld funding for the levees in the first place (although the storm probably would have busted through anyhow) and he responded with pathetic nonchalance. Not only that, but the recently sacked FEMA chief, Michael Brown, was horribly unqualified and hired only because of Bush's cronyism.
Still, can we say that race played a factor?
We cannot know the hearts of those in government but we can read their actions. From their actions it seems that poor blacks and whites in New Orleans don't matter a whole lot. One Republican senator was even overheard saying that the "New Orleans housing problem has been solved." American response has, for the most part, been highly supportive of the victims of Hurrican Katrina. There are those, however, who blame the victims. There are those who claiming that the blacks have been made soft by welfare and are unable to bail themselves out because they always expect the government to help them. There are those who say that blacks are animals because they loot and rape as soon as police disappear. There are those who claim that black poverty would be solved if they would just learn to stop having teen pregnancies. So, while it is questionable if race played a factor in the slow response it is definite that racism is still a factor in America today.
Does George Bush not care about black people? God only knows. I think he does care about black people, and I think he does care for the poor white and black residents of New Orleans. Just not enough. Kanye should have said "George Bush is oblivious and doesn't care enough about black people to read a newspaper or watch the news."

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Little tidbits heard or overheard on the golf course by a certain greenskeeper:

"See, it's kind of like the Crusades except that the Muslims are attacking us and we're not really Christian anymore."

"So I bought six oranges and he tried one and didn't like it and wouldn't even touch the other ones. Can you believe it?! At least try another one before you abandon them!"

"*grumble* At least they're not cutting the grass today."

"Yeah, but the lightning was over towards the west and the wind is coming from the east so we should be fine, right?"

"Little warmish, eh?" = 40 degrees w. humidex

"But what I like about Jack Layton, his moustache!"

"Are there any balls in that tree you just chopped down?"

"Is that a fire?" woman points to a smallish bit of black smoke in the distance "I hope a barn isn't burning, that looks like a big one."

"So . . . I should go to the pro-shop at the front like the sign says?"

"Unintelligable Scottish brogue . . . doon't ya thenk? Ha ha ha ha!"

Monday, September 12, 2005

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

There's something about Psalm 23 in the King James Version that just makes it that much more meaningful to me. What a great passage.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Are you serious? Are you absolutely serious? I mean, I was a little confused when you were defending him on his Iraqi war. Sound bites from previous justifications and pretexts were lost to your mind, buried under the new justifications put forward by the government like an Orwellian Ministry of Truth. You forgot about or dismissed the historic ties between the US and Saddam, the non-existent link between September 11 and Saddam Hussein, the weapons of mass destruction, the declaration of the war's end, the statements about the ease of implanting democracy, the scandalous Halliburton contracts, and, of course, the suspicious links between those in power with those in oil.

I admit it. I was confused. Nevertheless, I was willing to listen to your arguments and, I have to admit, I was not angry. No, I could not be angry because I knew that, despite the stability he gave Iraq, Saddam was a ruthless killer. Any man who admires Iosef Stalin, as Saddam does, cannot be a good leader. I wondered to myself if it was better to have a savage despot enforcing order or to have civil war. I don't know, because I cannot, unfortunately, see into the future. My hope was that, despite my initial opposition, the United States would successfully foster a peaceful and prosperous state out of the shambles of Iraq. My suspicion, however, was that a government that had to resort to lies and corruption to justify a war was not fighting in order to create a model democracy. If the purpose was so noble, why was it hidden beneath lies? I struggled not to fall into economic reductionism, but all I could see was the oil-hungry tycoons in the Bush administration. I wondered if, perhaps, an ignoble sowing could bring about a noble reaping. A war made my existence possible and a war gave me my wife. Could a war bring stability to Iraq? I hope so, I really hope so. War is such a terribly ugly abomination that it is tough to find the good in it. Tough, but possible.

So, yes, I was confused but not angry. I could understand how someone could be a follower of George W. Bush. I could never have followed myself, but I could understand.

Now, my friend, I am angry. I ask you again, are you completely serious? Do you actually consider him a good leader after this? Can you, without drinking copious amounts of alcohol, actually give a rational explanation to the reaction of the American federal government after this disaster? Can you explain why an unqualified man, a Bush supporter, could be put in charge of FEMA? Can you explain the federal cuts to the levees? Can you tell me why Florida was hit by several hurricanes and the federal response was immediate and even excessive and why the response in New Orleans was retarded and pathetically weak ? Can you please give logical explanation for Bush's departure in the opposite direction, to San Diego, upon learning about the hurricane? Can you tell me why he couldn't cut his vacation short for the thousands dying in New Orleans? Can you honestly tell me that you are not angry when those in the American federal government claim they don't want to play the blame game and then go on to blame the local officials?

They failed, don't you get it?

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Hello Hello,

Let me reintroduce myself. My name is John den Boer and I, as you might already know, am master of this blog. When is say that I am master of this blog it really does not mean much anymore for the blog has seen better days. For, as we all know, a dog can be master of a tennis ball but that balls is still ratty, covered in spit, and falling apart at the seams. Now, my blog is not ratty or covered in spit, but it could be said that it is falling apart at the seams. Indeed, if my blog was an empire, this would be the stage of the empire known as the "decline." Sometimes when an empire declines it, in the words of Edward Gibbon "falls."

Here's what Gibbon has to say about my blog:

"The blogging world, after their blogs had been reduced into mere supplemental reading to Boerisbwoy's brilliant blog, imputed the triumph of Boerishbwoy, not to merit, but to fortune. The inconstant goddess who so blindly distributes and resumes her favours, had now consented (such was the language of envious flattery) to resign her wings, to descend from her globe, and to fix her firm and immutable throne on the banks of the internet . . .
The decay of Boerishbwoy has been frequently acribed to the translation of the seat of marriage; but this history has already shown that the powers of Boerishbwoy were divided rather than removed. The throne of Laurianne was erected in the East; while the West was still possessed by a series of distractions who held their residences in John's mind, and claimed their equal inheritance of John's time and activities. This dangerous novelty impaired the strength and fomented the vices of a double reign . . ." Edward Gibbon, The Triumph of Barbarism and the Fall of Boerishbwoy.

Ah, but what Gibbon forgets is that, occasionally, when an empire declines, it manages with gasping breaths to reassert itself before the inevitable and pitiful "fall." Such is the hope of Boerishbwoy -- a hope in a renaissance of sorts. A rebirth of regular blogging and a reassertion of Boerishbwoy's cyber-dominance.

What has changed in Boerishbwoy's world? Well, for one thing, he has now joined his house with the house of Burundi's royal family. Yes, that is correct. Mr. John den Boer is now married to his beautiful African princess, Laurianne Munezero.

What else has changed? Mr. den Boer now lives in Gatineau, in a nice apartment at 77 Boul. Montclair.

Why was his blog down for so long? A previous posts, a fairly weak attempt, tried to address this issue. The truth is, after this post, John did fully intend to fulfill his promise to "be a better blogger." Unfortunately, in a fit of uncontrollable creative energy, John decided to change his template. This resulted in the blog losing the all-important comments as well as the numerous links to other blogs. Despairing, John retreated to his world of cutting grass at a golf course, preparing for marriage, reading books, and illegally downloading music from the internet. (Actually, it was all legal, it just sounds more dramatic if it we put "illegal.")

Why has Boerishbwoy suddenly reappeared? John was drawn back into the blogging world after Dr. Koyzis "floated a trial balloon" in John's general direction. Admittedly, when John fired his not-so-sharp thoughts at the trial balloon he missed repeatedly, but he remembered again the beauty of the blogging world and of wrestling with ideas and of just putting down idiotic thoughts onto his own scrap of cyber-territory. Taking some time, he finally figured out how to restore the comments and re-insert some of the links he had lost all that time ago.

Behold, Boerishbwoy rides again.

Who deh?