Thursday, July 22, 2004

I'll Do It Too

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

"It is possible to defer paying tax on your accrued gains from TCP if you provide acceptable security to the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency."

Canadians Resident Abroad, Fourth Edition, Garry R. Duncan and Elizabeth J. Peck.

*sigh* I guess this is what you get when your father is an accountant.  I wonder if he's read the whole thing.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


- Yes, I am alive.

- The wedding has been postponed a year.

- No, we're not having problems in our relationship.

- I hate those signs that say "you just proved that bench advertising works!"  I hate proving them right and I keep wishing I had looked the other way with a sign on the back of my head that read "No I didn't, you stupid bench!"

- Incidentally, benches lack the cognitive ability to read or understand any sign that I put on the back of my head.

- I gave money to the nation of Islam.

- I shaved my head.

- Who shot J.R.?

- As much as hair might cause you to sweat or get caught in trees, it still protects you from the sun and acts as a cushion when you hit a tree-branch.

- I'm 22.

- This fingernail just will not heal properly.  I despise it.

- I love Laurianne.

- It wasn't a good idea to go for Chile in the Copa America, they got eliminated in group play.  The Mexicans were eliminated in the first round and now I'm forced to cheer for whoever can beat Brasil.

- I wrote a letter to Laurianne's grandpa.  I managed two lines in French, got tired, and wrote the rest in English.  I hope it makes sense to him.

- Laurianne was convinced that the NDP was a conservative party.  This is just one of the many reasons that I don't think mandatory voting is a good idea.

- The other day I witnessed the dilemma of a young man who bought pants with a large waist but hadn't been intelligent enough to buy  a belt.  His arms were occupied by two bags and the further he walked the lower the waist on his pants dropped.  Fortunately for him his girlfriend was there to pull them up every ten steps.  So, if you don't have a belt, at least have a girlfriend.

- My parents are back from B.C.  They had a good time.

- Good night.

Friday, July 02, 2004


On Saturday July 10 at approximately at 7:00pm John den Boer will be having a barbecue to celebrate his recent engagement or his birthday (it doesn't matter which, both are pretty cool). If you're of the opinion that John isn't a bad shit then come on down to 241 Bonaventure Drive, but please give advanced warning.

Anyhow, John's residence is at the corner of Clifton Downs and Bonaventure across from Park formerly known as Brown which now bears the name of some dead alderman. Let's say that you're driving your car northwards at approximately 60 km/h down Upper Paradise from Rymal Road you would drive past such landmarks as the perpetually pacing adolescent Little Caesar's sandwich board people, Mac's, the bridge over the Linc, and maybe even that ridiculously fat guy who wears sweat pants up to his chest. Now as your going over the bridge you'll notice that there's stoplights up ahead. You'll have to turn right onto Hadeland there and then follow that until the first stop sign where you turn right and then, and I hope this isn't too confusing, a quick left at the next stop sign. You can actually make a slow left if you really want to as you'll still reach John's house, but a quick left is preferable.

Now, let's say that you're driving your car southwards at approximately 55 km/hr down Garth from Mohawk. You'll have to turn right on Limeridge Road and follow that until you reach Bonaventure. Now, don't go straight because that's Limeridge Court and that's a dead end. No, you have to turn left on Bonaventure and follow that road. Hopefully the sharp bend in the road won't throw you off, as some people signal around that corner - something which is completely unnecessary.

If the directions are confusing I aks you not to worry as they're probably wrong anyways.

Who deh?