Little tidbits heard or overheard on the golf course by a certain greenskeeper:

"See, it's kind of like the Crusades except that the Muslims are attacking us and we're not really Christian anymore."

"So I bought six oranges and he tried one and didn't like it and wouldn't even touch the other ones. Can you believe it?! At least try another one before you abandon them!"

"*grumble* At least they're not cutting the grass today."

"Yeah, but the lightning was over towards the west and the wind is coming from the east so we should be fine, right?"

"Little warmish, eh?" = 40 degrees w. humidex

"But what I like about Jack Layton, his moustache!"

"Are there any balls in that tree you just chopped down?"

"Is that a fire?" woman points to a smallish bit of black smoke in the distance "I hope a barn isn't burning, that looks like a big one."

"So . . . I should go to the pro-shop at the front like the sign says?"

"Unintelligable Scottish brogue . . . doon't ya thenk? Ha ha ha ha!"