Friday, September 16, 2005

Here at boerishbwoy, we've noticed that people around the world vote, watch their leaders, and even have political opinions. Through these political opinions we can determine which side of the political spectrum they are on. That is, we can figure out if they are "left-wing" or "right-wing." The following chart will bring clarity to what these titles mean and demonstrate how much insight these titles can inject into the political debate. If either of these categories do not describe you, then you have a problem, my friend. Take a long hard look in the mirror, try to conform to one wing or the other or forever risk losing your political relevence.

Left - Commie, Pinko, Bleeding Heart, Godless Liberal
Right - Fascist, Fundamentalist, Nazi, Capitalist Pig
Favourite Meal:
Left - Tofu and soy-milk (with maybe a light salad)
Right - Beer and hot dogs (with maybe a medium-rare steak)
Favourite Musicians:
Left - Kenny G, Enya, and Peter Gabriel
Right - Toby Keith, Wagner, and Lynyrd Skynyrd
Left - Hackey Sack, Chaining themselves to doors, and reciting poetry
Right - Hunting, pummeling mailboxes with bats, and drowning kittens
First Victims of Capital Punishment:
Left - Trotskyists and other betrayers of the revolution.
Right - Pedophiles, Murderers, Drug Dealers, Pimps, Prostitutes, Thieves, Jay-walkers, and the like.
Iconic Figurehead:
Left -

Right -

Uniform of Choice:
Left - Birkenstocks, Tie-Dyed T-shirt with an anti-corporate slogan or a pro-marijuana message, Beret, Hemp Sweater, Ponytail, and spectacles.
Right - Flannel Overcoat, Tight Jeans, Leather Cowboy Boots, and Cowboy Hat
Boxers or Briefs:
Left - Commando
Right - Briefs, baby, briefs.
Left - Circusses, Butchers, Racists, Televangelists, "The Man", Racist Butchers, Office Monkeys, Religious Fundamentalists, Politicians, and the suburbs.
Right - Miscegenists, Protesters, Abortionists, Homosexuals, Atheists, Professors, Evolutionists, Minorities, Crack-Smoking Hippies, and Vegan Restaurants.
Left - Marijuana, Minorities, Homosexuals, Vegan Restaurants, Evolution, and chocolate
Right - Beer, Whiskey, Circusses, Butchers, Televangelists, the suburbs, and chocolate


David T. Koyzis said...

So where do bowties come in? :-)

John den Boer said...

Bowties . . . hmmm, do they really have any place in the political arena? ;)

Who deh?