Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Main Differences Between Americans and Canadians

I read somewhere that if you want to tell the difference between an American and a Canadian, all that you have to do is say that there is no difference between Americans and Canadians. The Canadian is the one who objects.

The biggest difference between Americans and Canadians is that Canadians care about the difference between Americans and Canadians.

Americans drink soda and coke. Canadians drink pop.

An American doesn't care if his country is mentioned in the foreign news, he expects it. Canadians voraciously read news stories about Canada appearing in the foreign news.

Americans know that their country is number one, rankings be damned. Canadians are ecstatic if they are mentioned in the top ten.

Americans have their milk in cartons. Canadians have their milk in cartons and in bags.

In a movie, if an American is portrayed as stupid, crass, or obnoxious, it is anti-Americanism. In a movie, if a Canadian is portrayed as stupid, crass, or obnoxious, there is much rejoicing in the streets - for a Canadian has been portrayed in a movie.

Almost all Americans have accents. Canadians honestly believe that they speak in standard American English, with a few colloquial expressions and ehs thrown in.

According to Americans, they won the war of 1812 - they sacked York. According to Canadians, they won the war of 1812 - they burnt down the White House.

Americans think smarties come in rolls and taste like fruity candies. Canadians know better.

Old Americans in Canada are probably draft dodgers. Old Canadians in the States are probably in Florida.

Americans have green paper money. Canadians have paper money in a multitude of colours . . . it's also much crisper.

Americans pronounce the -er in foyer "urrr." Canadians pronounce it correctly.

Americans think Texas is big. Canadians think Saskatchewan is small.

Americans have Captain America. Canadians have Wayne Gretzky.

Americans apologize for stepping on your foot, Canadians apologize for having their foot stepped on.

If something goes wrong in the world, Americans are blamed for doing too little or too much. If something goes wrong in the world, Canadians are probably watching curling.

An American election campaign takes about one million weeks. A Canadian election campaign is a little over a month.

Americans have the ugly side of Niagara Falls while Canadians are stuck with the beautiful side.

Many Americans believe that Barack Obama wishes he weren't Kenyan. Many Canadians believe that Stephen Harper wishes he were American.

2 comments:

Rod and Bec said...

Bravo.

John den Boer said...

Thank you.

Who deh?

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