The Odyssey of the Plugged Sink

Long ago, in the depths of an enchanted province, amidst a beautiful forest, there lived a king and queen. The queen was a regal beauty renowned for her kind nature while the king was a strikingly handsome monarch whose vast wisdom and eloquence were legendary. Their palace was less than legendary. In fact, it was more of a basement apartment of a triplex.

As long as we're being honest, the province was not enchanted, but separatist; and the beautiful forest was actually more of a jungle of concrete and asphalt. In addition, although the couple was fairly good-looking, they were not royalty despite the royal pedigree of the woman. Also, the man was not, in fact, known for being wise or eloquent. He did, however, wish deeply to be both of these things, and that must count for something.

The rest of the story will continue to be willfully dishonest. Although it should be noted that the wicked queen about to be introduced is neither wicked nor a queen. She's more of a landlady who would like to avoid spending money on proper pipe fitting.

One day, the royal basin became plugged because of the evil machinations of a wicked queen. The basin kept magically filling up with the greasy water of the royal neighbours. When the king and queen sent a number of royal couriers to the wicked queen to complain about this there was no reply. Finally, exasperated, the queen sent a messenger to tell the wicked queen that they were going to seek the help of a basin-wizard. Quick as a flash, the wicked queen responded that she would send her own basin-wizard in two days. Later, she sent out another messenger to say that the basin-wizard would not be arriving until six days later because his gadgetry was in need of repair. The queen then inquired as to the possibility of hiring another basin-wizard. The wicked queen grew furious: "It is your fault the royal basin is plugged because you put pasta in the royal drain!"

As the sixth day neared, the king inquired to the wicked queen about the coming of the basin-wizard. A response came on the seventh day that the basin wizard would be arriving on the ninth day. Meanwhile, the royal cutlery and china were piling to preposterous heights. On the ninth day the basin-wizard never arrived despite sending a message relating that he would be late. On the tenth day, he arrived, fixed the problem and then told the king that the royal pipes needed replacing and adjusting because there was a royal problem that would cause the definite repetition of the basin-plugging. After all, who in their right mind would put pasta in the drain? The royal couple were vindicated but rather upset with the wicked queen.

And they lived happily ever after.