Monday, October 29, 2007

More Boerishbwoy FAQ's

Here at Boerishbwoy we strive to serve our vast readership with quick and efficient responses to the many queries we receive. Lately, we have fallen behind on our FAQ's for which we would apologize, but that would mean acknowledging a mistake of some kind. As you may or may not be aware, we at Boerishbwoy do not make mistakes.

~ What the devil kind of name is Boerishbwoy, anyway?
The name Boerishbwoy is a title that has absolutely nothing to do with the occult. In fact, we at Boerishbwoy are consistently opposed to the devil and his activities.

~ In his early posts, John made a lot of references to a bad fingernail which annoyed him. Whatever happened to those enlightening posts?
John has chosen to remain sullenly silent on the issue of his fingernail(s) until such a time as the affliction is solved.

~ What? It still isn't solved?
Please re-read the previous answer. If the question still remain unanswered in your mind then we'll offer you this: some mysteries are better left unexplained.

~ Seriously, what does the name Boerishbwoy mean?
At the time he created this blog, John made five attempts at clever moniker for himself. It was only on the fifth try that he came up with a name that no one had taken. As you may be aware, John's last name is "den Boer" which means "the farmer" in Dutch. Boorish is the adjective form of the word Boor which, according to the online etymology dictionary is derived the following way:
13c., from O.Fr. bovier "herdsman," from L. bovis, gen. of bos "cow, ox." Later re-borrowed (1581) from Du. boer, from M.Du. gheboer "fellow dweller," from P.Gmc. base *bu- "dwell" (cf. second element of neighbor). Original meaning was "peasant farmer" (cf. Ger. Bauer, Du. boer, Dan. bonde), and in Eng. it was at first applied to agricultural laborers in or from other lands, as opposed to the native yeoman; negative connotation first attested 1562 (in boorish), from notion of clownish rustics.
Thus, boerish refers to John's heritage and clumsy clownishness and is an ironic contrast to his status as a city boy.
Bwoy, is a word which the online Jamaican patois dictionary defines in the following way:
Boy.
Thus, bwoy refers to John's fondness for reggae, his status as a male, and his immaturity.

~ Is it really an ironic contrast to his status as a city boy?
We at boerishbwoy are in the generation of people whose minds were at a critical stage of neural development when Alanis Morissette's song Ironic came out. Between that and the short stories of O. Henry, we therefore have only a tenuous idea of what true irony is. We apologize if we have in any way slandered the definition of true irony.

~ I really like that map that shows where blog hits come from, could you please elaborate on that?
We at boerishbwoy are pretty thrilled with the clustrmap. However, the map only seems to register a fraction of the millions of readers who peruse this blog daily. We are not complaining as we understand the difficulty computers can have with counting so high using those weird binary codes. Seeing the wide array of international hits is very interesting. Still, we'll only be satisfied as soon as we have a hit from Mongolia. MONGOLIA!

~ Why did you type Mongolia in capital letters with an exclamation mark?
Our hope is that by cyber-shouting, a Mongolian searching through google using the word "Mongolia" will come across this site near the top of the pile.

~ Why don't you just put Mongolia in the post label?
We were going to do that too.

~ You could also put the name "Nominjin", she's a popular Mongolian singer.
Duly noted.

~ Where is the plumber who was supposed to arrive at John's house at 1:00 pm to fix the plugged kitchen sink?
We are not sure how you knew this information as John has not posted on this particular issue. However, putting that issue of creepy insider information aside, we have no idea and are rather perplexed and perturbed.

~ Do you belie--ieve in love after love after love after love?
We can feel something inside us say that we really don't think you're strong enough, no.

~ Why do the FAQs include a question which is certain to put a mindbogglingly bad song into the heads of innocent readers?
We have to post all of the questions that we are frequently asked.

~ Are you frequently asked about the plumber coming to fix John's sink?
No, but sometimes we allow questions of grave import to be included with the questions which we are frequently asked.

~ Your blog sucks.
This is not question but a statement that merely displays an astounding lack of taste. We at Boerishbwoy, like the recording industry, understand that there are many people in this world who lack good taste. Unlike the recording industry, we have failed to capitalize on this ... yet.

~ The suggestion about Nominjin was not a question either, was it?
No, but we at Boerishbwoy reserve the right to set the rules of the FAQs arbitrarily.

6 comments:

Jake Belder said...

Haha, he's back! I've been waiting for one of these for some time now. Great work! Always good for a laugh, those FAQs.

John den Boer said...

Hey Jake! Glad you liked the return of the FAQs. I should post my attempts at humorous posts more often. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Hi, im from mongolia i have been an avid reader of your blog for 6 years now, i wonder why this doesn't show up on your cluster map.

Nambaryn Enkhbayar

John den Boer said...

Perhaps as president of Mongolia you can issue an edict making my blog required reading at the high school level. Then, by sheer volume, the internet will no longer be able to ignore these vital hits.

Rod and Bec said...

Well Done! You make us laugh!

John den Boer said...

:), thanks guys.

Who deh?

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