Similes Ad Nauseum

After a brief hiatus, I have returned to the blog like a vulture to its carrion. My blog, of course, is not carrion, but I have merely returned to the blog like a vulture would to the rotting corpse of a dead animal. My blog is like a classic novel that all the critics rave over. That is to say that it is awesome. I have been absent from the information superhighway for a while like a man who has left his home for a few days. There is no need for explanation, but I will explain anyways like a person who tells you a tasteless joke even though you asked them to stop. The explanation is not like a tasteless joke, it's more like a boring anecdote from a co-worker that you have to hear anyway. Here is the explanation, as clear as pudding on the wall. Our internet providers was as effective as duct tape. That is to say that the internet provider was working properly. The computer, however, was like trying to use a mildly adhesive epoxy to hold your work boot together. That is to say that the computer was not functioning properly. I had downloaded an online virus program like someone who wanted to protect their computer. Unfortunately, when trying to upload some photos from our new digital camera (which is like an electronic version of awesomeness), the virus program was like an angry beachcomber whose metal detector had just broken. That is to say, it did not allow my computer to connect to the modem.

Of course, I'm a bit like a person who is waxing poetically on something which they know nothing about. That is to say that I know as much about computers as the meter man knows about home security. That is to say that I know a bit, but you would be like a fool who has hired an inept person if you were to hire me to fix your computer in the same way that you would be wrong to hire the meter man to install your home security system. Of course, he might know what he's doing, but I'm speaking in generalities like an incompetent leader who wishes to distract from their own failings. I would like to thank our friends Ben and Francois who were as instrumental in the repair of our computer as a good computer repair team is instrumental in the repair of a computer.

Well, until next time.