Oh damned book, History of the Low Countries!
You're out of print, you historical sleaze!
I searched high and low for you, you devil
in every corner and on every level
You, oh antiquated book, fail to see
that I need you for a fourth level history!
E.H. Kossman is your author and a knave
to print too few copies of what I crave
blame the publisher if you will
its E.H. Kossman I want to kill
I know I'm being harsh and unfair
but your utter scarcity I cannot bear
I'm sure Kossman is a nice fellow
and I know I should be more mellow
but when I order a copy of you, you cur
I don't want E.H. Kossman's `93 brochure!
So, you hard-covered pretentious freak
I expect you at my house at the end of the week!
P.S. I bet you're not even a good read.