tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58317462012-02-16T03:46:55.899-05:00Refreshing . . .John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.comBlogger4771100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-27340150276984811232012-01-31T15:10:00.001-05:002012-01-31T15:11:34.486-05:00

Dear sir, I myself have found myself frustrated more than once by that particular door at the Rideau Shopping Centre. As it is the rightmost door in its section, practical experience dictates that it should swing open on the side closest to the door on its left. Nevertheless, this door swings open on the side closest to the wall. I have done the same thing as you, sir – pushing on the door’s

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-32815091453651184992012-01-19T13:00:00.001-05:002012-01-19T13:00:28.144-05:00

The 1812 Bicentennial2012 marks the bicentennial anniversary of the outbreak of the War of 1812. Journalists on both sides of the border seem to be busy with the academic equivalent of a hip hop feud: Who won the war? Whose heroes were best? Was Isaac Brock just a nancy-pants?While Americans and Canadians puff up their chests and argue over whether Betsy Doyle or Laura Secord was more

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-26916997700622600922012-01-17T13:42:00.001-05:002012-01-17T13:44:29.359-05:00

Hey Hamilton, want some of our snow?We've had our fill, I think.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-29719077129588141682012-01-13T09:52:00.002-05:002012-01-13T10:29:46.537-05:00

People I See on the Bus - The SequelThe villain – As if any great villain would take public transportation, right? Wrong. This guy does. He is bald with an immaculately trimmed goatee. He is, without a doubt, the most snappishly dressed man I have ever seen on my bus. If I had to compare him to a villain from history, he would be a well-dressed Vladimir Lenin. If there were ever any doubt about

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-19661407162422127402012-01-11T15:20:00.003-05:002012-01-11T15:23:35.485-05:00

Fred HerzogTwo Men in FogInk Jet Print19.75 x 30 in. image size1958Edition of 2090214

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-83100250010827009992012-01-10T14:42:00.004-05:002012-01-10T14:49:05.341-05:00

I'm not Such a Bad Guyby Sauron, Guest ColumnistYes, yes, I am that Sauron. I am the Dark Lord of Mordor, the one whose name should not be spoken, the Great Eye, yadda yadda yadda. I am, if you are to believe the words of that revisionist sycophant, Tolkien, a pretty evil guy.Alright, I don’t necessarily blame Tolkien. After all, he really only had the word of that pathological liar of a hobbit

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-24560508087419073072012-01-06T11:49:00.001-05:002012-01-06T11:49:36.175-05:00

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-10402931401224726982012-01-05T10:32:00.001-05:002012-01-05T10:35:50.601-05:00

Curly Kate the Bactrian Camel of the Canadian RockiesI was looking into the oft-ignored area of Canadian history better known to experts as “Dromadaries in Canada” when I came across this gem about the great Gold Rush Bactrian Camel known as Curly Kate:“Curly Kate was a beautiful young, Bactrian two humped camel. She had a full silken cape of fur on her front quarters and possessed dark limpid

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-76822138821432798942012-01-04T09:17:00.001-05:002012-01-04T09:49:43.084-05:00

Portrait of an Old Man with Beard - Vincent Van Gogh, 1885

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-31716366982217360462012-01-03T14:46:00.002-05:002012-01-03T15:58:05.355-05:00

JANUARY UPDATE IN CAPITAL LETTERSI was recently informed, numerous times and in numerous ways, that my blog has been neglected and that I need to update it. Unfortunately, I recently lost all of my humour in a tragic accident. Normally I try to spice up my posts with my rapier wit and hilarious jokes, but that is no longer possible.My posts, from this point forward, are going to be dry and

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-76098078557019595382011-12-05T15:40:00.001-05:002011-12-05T15:40:25.270-05:00

“Bones in a grave,Cover them as they will with choking earth,May shout the truth to men who put them there,More than all orators.”— Edwin Arlington Robinson

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-65214471222584682332011-06-28T15:18:00.000-04:002011-06-28T15:19:14.047-04:00

Monday 9:07 amIt sounds like Russian klezmer music and it’s coming from two small speakers that dangle from around his thick neck. The speakers are connected by wires to the device in his his large hand. From there the wires snake into the small backpack he’s wearing. He ambles with an air of contentment from one end of the bus shelter to the other and then outside again; a slow clockwise

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-10704092586080266312011-05-27T13:15:00.001-04:002011-05-27T13:15:28.673-04:00

Tulipomania“This gentleman, an amateur botanist, happened to see a tulip-root lying in the conservatory of a wealthy Dutchman. Being ignorant of its quality, he took out his penknife, and peeled off its coats, with the view of making experiments upon it. When it was by this means reduced to half its original size, he cut it into two equal sections, making all the time many learned remarks on the

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-24761410896367001682011-05-20T20:38:00.001-04:002011-05-20T20:38:42.128-04:00

I briefly worked for a company that made bullet-proof glass. Actually, they installed this high-end plastic sheeting over windows that made them bullet-proof. It was pretty cool, you could fire a shotgun or throw a Molotov cocktail at the glass and, although the glass would crack, the plastic would hold it together.My co-worker told me that he installed some of this sheeting at a woman’s home

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-79667272396187682672011-04-30T15:41:00.000-04:002011-04-30T15:42:06.648-04:00

Hey Bruno Mars, grenades aside, in what possible scenario are you going to walk in front of a train for someone you love? I mean, even if you had to save the person you love from some kind of super-villain, you'd probably run in front of the train. And if the person you love actually asked you to walk in front of the train to prove your love, they're not the one for you in the first place.I

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-67696546935081727742011-04-29T11:57:00.003-04:002011-04-29T12:52:28.529-04:00

Things I've Recently Seen on the Internets:•A girl whose favourite Bob Marley song was by Bunny Wailer.•Advice on balding with dignity. Conclusion: the comb-over is a no go.•The definition of the word "irony." I'm still confused (it's Alanis' fault). What, for example was Dostoevsky referring to when he talked about an ironic smile? I want to see a picture of an ironic smile. •A quote

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-12885489603625301052011-04-28T17:22:00.000-04:002011-04-28T17:23:23.237-04:00

I had a royal wedding back in 2005 and nobody made a big fuss like this.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-88885583620334823752011-04-28T12:02:00.001-04:002011-04-28T12:04:54.165-04:00

Someone in my workplace has a cellphone that quacks. This wouldn't be too bad if it weren't for her regularly not answering her phone.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-64975928736799568472011-04-26T14:23:00.001-04:002011-04-26T14:25:31.332-04:00

Starstruck couple - they literally stop and wait for the blinking hand to become solid. Then, entirely wrapped up in eachother, they proceed to cross the street, completely oblivious to the traffic that is too polite to honk at them.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-19632152719502436302011-04-25T19:49:00.002-04:002011-04-25T20:03:58.626-04:00

I just watched "the Searchers" and was thoroughly unimpressed. The story wasn't interesting, and the First Nations were portrayed as half-witted terrorist goombahs whose savagery infected white captives like some kind of schizoid virus. Most of all, John Wayne can't act worth shit. Did he have some kind of speech impediment that made him speak like a half-wit?What a waste of time."I don't feel

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-85336383202281894052011-04-15T09:55:00.002-04:002011-04-15T10:31:45.880-04:00

My Favourite CommercialAs long time boerishbwoy readers may know, I am a big fan of watching commercials. I wait impatiently through the mundane adventures of Jack Bauer so that I can watch products flashed quickly and stylishly before my eyes in thirty second intervals. Commercials fill that void in my soul the way only sales pitches for cleaning products, life insurance, lottery cards,

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-31072421107511239942011-04-12T17:33:00.004-04:002011-04-14T11:29:27.212-04:00

The Main Differences Between Americans and CanadiansI read somewhere that if you want to tell the difference between an American and a Canadian, all that you have to do is say that there is no difference between Americans and Canadians. The Canadian is the one who objects.The biggest difference between Americans and Canadians is that Canadians care about the difference between Americans and

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-28714844103579434362011-04-08T16:23:00.000-04:002011-04-08T16:39:48.305-04:00

Playing for Change - Redemption Song

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-84791708591519293302011-04-07T18:01:00.003-04:002011-04-07T18:19:52.353-04:00

This is the Title, It Contains Numerous Capitals and Is in a Larger Font.This here is the attention-grabbing first sentence, which, unfortunately, defines the topic at hand using a common dictionary. This sentence questions that definition. This sentence contains the actual content of this piece. This is a humourous anecdote that will pull you even further in. This is a serious statement that

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-30016321901746263502011-03-31T09:53:00.003-04:002011-03-31T12:11:55.624-04:00

Things I Did Not Know Contained in an 1835 Grammar Book for Children

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-39349124861732735412011-03-30T11:05:00.005-04:002011-03-30T11:14:08.591-04:00

Untrustworthy Bloggers I was watching the news the other day. A group of scientists were discussing how, according to some kind of poll, scientists were the most trusted profession. They, of course, were thrilled about this, in the sort of roundabout analytical way that scientists are thrilled. “How about this poll that says you're awesome?” – interviewer. “On the one hand, bla bla blah superb

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-11671554573128183682011-03-26T17:16:00.004-04:002011-03-26T17:18:48.966-04:00

"Do not drill here," said the electrical cables.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-60544526204218531602011-03-23T10:47:00.005-04:002011-03-23T10:55:19.846-04:00

People I see (or have seen) on the transit system while going to work:- The man with the bouffant. Alright, I’m actually not sure if this person is a man or if the hairstyle qualifies as a bouffant. In fact, this person might actually be “the woman with the beehive.” However, there is a person who I believe is a man that I occasionally see with a very tall sweeping hairstyle that must require a

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-14090098030888160032011-03-22T18:25:00.002-04:002011-03-22T18:27:31.153-04:00

"The world is more like it is now than it ever has before."- Dwight Eisenhower.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-13829925013247199762011-03-18T22:25:00.000-04:002011-03-18T22:26:26.985-04:00

Romain Virgo - Who Feels It Knows It

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-52369638553395389742011-03-16T12:15:00.003-04:002011-03-16T14:14:54.057-04:00

Dear Mr. Boerishbwoy,I am writing in response to your recent letter regarding my children’s work entitled “Fuzzy Rabbit Visits the Doctor.” I do take a lot of pride in the work that I produce, so thank you for your very thorough critique. However, I would like to point out that the intended audience for this book is much younger than you. In fact, I was rather surprised by the heated tone of your

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-17981661653716893212011-03-11T15:38:00.004-05:002011-03-11T15:51:24.285-05:00

Update:~ I am playing a lot of soccer lately, both indoor and in a dome on turf. Endorphines are good. My teams are doing well.~ Kumis!~ Have you ever ridden on an accordion bus in the accordion part and imagined the bus suddenly splitting in two and contemplated whether you would stay with the front or the back section of the bus? You have? Really? . . . You’re weird.~ A lot of snow, followed by

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-43154770775899198272011-03-10T15:42:00.001-05:002011-03-10T15:46:25.272-05:00

"Protest however you want, but do not go into the streets and squares."~ Moammar Ghaddafi

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-31463138394793652522011-03-09T13:09:00.004-05:002011-03-09T13:30:32.005-05:00

Buster Keaton Buster Keaton is my favourite comedian of the silent era. The man was a genius of physical comedy, performing stunts that would cause the bravest of modern-day risk assessors to succumb to paroxysms of fear. The next time Tom Cruise brags about performing some of his own stunts (i.e. climbing a wall while wearing a harness), think about Buster Keaton nonchalantly falling three

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-17341707592950298862011-03-04T15:27:00.000-05:002011-03-04T15:28:13.881-05:00

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-22548195702101782042011-03-02T14:03:00.003-05:002011-03-02T14:33:52.520-05:00

Dear Readers,I have taken the time to translate the great poem, "My Humps", by the Black Eyed Peas from its slang form into pretentious paraphrasing. For those unfamiliar with the original words of this epic, you can find them here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blackeyedpeas/myhumps.htmlThis classic work opens with a male putting forth a question to his female companion. The Peas' use of

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-72458070985499626622011-02-16T14:20:00.000-05:002011-02-16T14:21:31.977-05:00

Almond Slices- J. den BoerIn Hartman’s grocery store in the baking aisleChecking for sliced almonds proves quite the trialI finally locate bags of cashews and pistachiosbut I only see regular almonds, with the skinless ones belowI hover for some time, scanning the shelf with utmost care,When fortunately for me, a worker happens there“Excuse me sir, I hate to be a pestbut I have a recipe for which

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-39045619136212335402011-02-08T19:05:00.003-05:002011-03-10T15:42:14.249-05:00

“It is an honour to meet you, sir. Read your screenplay and, I must say, I loved it.”“Thank you, I’m happy to hear that.”“Now, you might not be familiar with the way the movie industry works, but I have a few suggestions for the screenplay that will make it, shall we say . . . a little more marketable.”“Alright.”“The, uh, protagonist, what’s his name?”“Victor.”“Yeah, interesting character -

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-71106959627050797192011-01-27T10:38:00.002-05:002011-01-27T10:38:52.445-05:00

There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.~ Leonard Cohen

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-61818189341645190792011-01-26T14:28:00.003-05:002011-01-27T10:39:55.061-05:00

His dirty hands were tanned and dotted with small scars, veins bulging and crisscrossing their backs. His fingers were thick and creased with wrinkles and marked with callouses. They gripped the handle of a sturdy spade as he churned the soil from the hole. The land around him was a monastery, dark and empty, and the strange meditative silence that enveloped him was somehow appropriate. The only

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-39933135012226524152011-01-07T17:21:00.003-05:002011-01-07T17:22:14.888-05:00

Rule # 342If you are carrying a small child in some kind of tote bag in front of your chest in a blizzard during rush hour, you are not allowed to jay walk.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-48780670718088552482011-01-03T16:55:00.002-05:002011-01-03T17:12:19.178-05:00

New Years Resolutions 2011:~ Read more. This will in entail going to the library more. Sidenote: Terryberry Library has got to be the coolest name for a library ever.~ Blog regularly.~ Keep in contact with the family more.~ Keep a tidier home. This will involve folding laundry.~ Watch the King's Speech and True Grit. This will be a tough one to keep, but I'll do my best.~ Discover new music.~

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-67925489822619252042010-12-16T15:04:00.003-05:002010-12-16T15:16:47.581-05:00

At one of the central bus stations in Ottawa I had a strange yet profound experience. As strangers bustled past me, I became acutely aware of the fleeting nature of life and the imperminance of the scene around me. I've had this feeling before, but this time it was incredibly strong. Every person walking past me seemed to belong to a moment that would soon be lost. I stood, gazing over the

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-11448374050550180662010-07-17T18:24:00.002-04:002010-07-17T18:25:55.135-04:00

Arcade Fire - No Cars Go

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-34678504600020344902010-07-15T14:22:00.003-04:002010-07-15T14:29:56.474-04:00

The Horrid Little Article Called "The horrid little game called soccer"David Warren is an entertaining Ottawa Citizen columnist. Sadly, this entertainment doesn't come from well-constructed columns, but from an incredible ability to be consistently wrong while maintaining a flare for absurd arguments. Warren recently decided to grace the world with his opinion on the game of soccer, entitling a

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-9489619493323385472010-07-14T19:28:00.002-04:002010-07-14T19:30:08.258-04:00

Almost

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-9353854919364917552010-07-13T14:53:00.000-04:002010-07-13T14:55:13.022-04:00

Things I Don’t Understand . . .- People crying when celebrities die.- Those weird sandals that are half boot and half sandal.- The dream I had last night where I had a huge goiter on my face.- Why people bother yelling from their balconies for drunk people to shut up. These drunks think they’re talking at a conversational level until you tell them to shut up. Basically you’re actively

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-74191144699979667382010-07-12T14:23:00.002-04:002010-07-12T14:53:38.876-04:00

Facing ItYusuf KomunyakaaMy black face fades,hiding inside the black granite.I said I wouldn't,dammit: No tears.I'm stone. I'm flesh.My clouded reflection eyes melike a bird of prey, the profile of nightslanted against morning. I turnthis way—the stone lets me go.I turn that way—I'm insidethe Vietnam Veterans Memorialagain, depending on the lightto make a difference.I go down the 58,022,

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-31444820451826763612010-07-12T13:47:00.003-04:002010-07-12T14:01:02.296-04:00

World Cup Final ReflectionsI was disappointed in the way the Netherlands played the final yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, there were flashes of brilliance by the talented Oranje. Nevertheless the free-flowing Total Football was showcased not by the Dutch, but by the Kruyff-influenced Spanish side. The Dutch seemed intent on fouling their way to a World Cup victory, with the Spaniards content to

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-57125251439540212582010-07-05T15:55:00.002-04:002010-07-05T15:58:48.401-04:00

How to Prove Your Maturity with Lindsay Lohan"I'm not that girl from Freaky Friday any more! I'm a real adult. In fact, I hate children! I hate them all!"This has been another episode of how to prove your maturity with Lindsay Lohan.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-15284428478382407992010-07-04T16:26:00.002-04:002010-07-04T16:53:52.783-04:00

The EarthquakeHere at Boerishbwoy, we place a high importance on keeping you informed on the latest trends and news items. In the words of your local news channel we "break the news as it happens" and "give you the latest news from around the world." For this reason, we would like to report on the recent earthquake that rocked Canada's capital. Yes, we know what you're thinking: 'Uuuh, didn't

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-27941609926031165322010-06-29T15:43:00.000-04:002010-06-29T15:44:50.485-04:00

Relativity - A.H. Reginald BullerThere was a young lady named BrightWhose speed was far faster than light;She set out one day,In a relative wayAnd returned on the previous night.

John den Boerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16545073858021858200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831746.post-12392178084836947922010-06-28T16:05:00.002-04:002010-06-28T16:52:53.760-04:00

North American History: The 1st Three Intercontinental WarsFrench and Iroquois Wars (encompassing King William’s War/ 1st Intercolonial War) (1642-1698)The French and Iroquois Wars, or Beaver Wars, were a succession of bloody clashes fought by the Iroquois against the French and their Algonquin allies. The Iroquois relied on the beaver trade in order to obtain European goods and firearms from

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Blackalicious - Make You Feel That Way

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Paintbrush

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Dear Fellow Tenant, I hope this letter finds you well. I’m sure it does, you seem cheerful. We don’t know each other. In fact, we’ve probably never spoken and it’s possible we’ve never even seen one other. If you’re wondering who I might be, I’m the tall ruggedly handsome gentleman with the dignified receding hairline and the rapier wit. You’ve possibly never experienced my rapier wit because

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Lawren Harris - Pic Island (1924)

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The ReadingThe microphone wavered in his trembling hand.I should put the mic on the stand, he said to himself, so that it doesn’t shake so much.He fumbled clumsily with the stand, holding the microphone awkwardly between his wrists. The stand did not move in the way he expected, the base was too heavy. As the pole slipped from his moist fingers, he juggled the microphone between both hands

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“There is two kinds of music the good and bad. I play the good kind.”~ Louis Armstrong.

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Things that People Find Annoying that They Really Shouldn't:~ Less than exemplary service at a fast food restaurant. It's a fast food restaurant, the person serving you is probably in high school and is making minimum wage. You should be mad at yourself for eating low-grade food.~ Doing the dishes. Yes, yes, doing the dishes is very annoying. What isn't annoying is having hot and cold clean

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Ebrahim - Bob Marley, Fugees, and the Roots Cover

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In Which I Answer Some Serious Questions - Final EditionIf a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?A bunch of cats would never jump on top of each other. If they did, they would cease to be cats.Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?No, they just get dirtier.In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?They put

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Gerrit Adriaensz - The Great Market in Haarlem (1697)

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World Cup VuvuzelasThe vuvuzela is incredibly annoying,it sounds like a hundred thousand angry killer bees are in attendance. These killer bees become enraged whenever the action heats up, and furiously censor any chants or songs that dare try to impinge on their monotonous buzzing. Killer bees have no place at the Word Cup, especially if they are angry. From the games I have watched, it

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Wisdom and WarWe do not care-That much is clear.Not enoughOf us careAnywhere.We are not wise-For that reason,Mankind dies.To thinkIs much againstThe will.Better-And easier-To kill.~ Langston Hughes

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Urban Chickens?Laurianne and I were walking down Bay street one day when we saw a turkey. Yeah, a turkey just chilling on someone's porch like it was the master of the home, and king of the laneway. It was surreal seeing a turkey in Ottawa's downtown core, and I am still a little bemused as to how or why that turkey was there. Turkeys don't belong in the city, do they?Well, some urban

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Burundi's Jean-Christophe Matata - Nyegera Cane (Come Closer)

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Update:~ According to the Ottawa Citizen, 24 billion people will be tuned into the World Cup.~ Estimated World Population as of 2010: 6.8 billion.~ Accountants are always stressing the importance of decimal placement.~ I wish it were about 70 degrees warmer outside right now.~ Hup, Holland, Hup.~ Ottawa always seems to be talking about a light rail transit system. It seems like none of the

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Lofty Mount Lu - Shen Zhou (15th century)

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GraffitiThere’s a park by the bus stop that I frequent where people are free to practice their graffiti art. I always enjoy seeing the constantly changing face of the wall there, and I’m often impressed with the talent that these artists have with a spray can.That being said, there is one thing I can’t stand. Heist. Heist has his name up on that wall. He also has tagged at least seven other

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Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~ Victor Hugo

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The Boer War MemorialI sometimes walk through Ottawa's Confederation Park on my way from the Rideau Centre to Elgin Street or vice versa. Whenever I do, I pass the Boer War Memorial, with its mustachioed hero doffing his cap. He's smiling, his rifle butt resting on the ground, and I'm left pondering whether I like this chap. With no control over its foreign policy,Canada was drawn into the war

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Jimmy Cliff - Many Rivers to Cross

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Title: Warning to all VilatorsLocation: 500 m from my abode.Number of Signs with the Same Spelling: At Least TwoLesson for Hydro One: Proofread your SignsJohn's Imagination Says: A vilator is a futuristic car that interferes with Hydro-1's electricity grid. This is a sign from the future.Google Says: Did you mean: violator?

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The FactoryThe factory was old, far older than any of the buildings surrounding him. He felt his age in his sagging wooden floors and the yellowing walls of his interior. The once bright red bricks that he had worn so proudly had faded into a rose, and a few had begun to crack and crumble. Few of his paneled windows remained, most had been broken by drunken vandals. The machinery that had hummed

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Thomas Hart Benton - Ballad of the Jealous Lover (1934)

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In Which I Answer Some Very Serious Questions - Part 3Why does a round pizza come in a square box?Have you ever tried making a round box? More importantly, have you ever noticed how easily round boxes can be crushed?Do bald people get Dandruff?Why was the word dandruff capitalized here? Anyway, the answer to your question is that bald people are impervious to any and all disorders of the

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The Parable of the Old Man and the YoungSo Abram rose, and clave the wood, and went,And took the fire with him, and a knife.And as they sojourned both of them together,Isaac the first-born spake and said, My Father,Behold the preparations, fire and iron,But where the lamb for this burnt-offering?Then Abram bound the youth with belts and strops,And builded parapets and trenches there,And stretched

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My Thoughts on AnarchismRecently, the Royal Bank in Ottawa's Glebe was firebombed by a group of radical anarchists. I'm not certain that radical is a necessary qualifier here because an anarchist is, by definition, a radical. After all, they believe in the elimination of the state.If, as one of my mentors effectively argues, all political ideologies are akin to religions, then Anarchism finds

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The Roots - Star

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25 Random Facts About Me1) I was tagged on Facebook by my sister and asked to give twenty five random facts about myself. Yes, this counts as a fact.2) I don’t believe that anything is truly random, especially lists created by people. Maybe if I had some kind of randomizing super-computer I could create a truly random list.3) Of course, then it would spit out such interesting tidbits as: “On

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El Greco - View of Toledo

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Um guys? You may want to reconsider trying to appeal to British nationalism while using the symbol of German Fascism. Just a thought. I mean, unless you're going for irony.

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It is better to walk than curse the road~ Wolof proverb.

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The Historical MacbethShakespeare’s remarkable insight into the human condition and his sharp intellect should have made him a brilliant historian, but his portrayal of Macbeth’s life is inaccurate. To be fair, Shakespeare did not have a great deal of accurate sources to work with and, as a dramatist, Shakespeare’s first task was to entertain his audience rather than to present them with a

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Tracy Chapman and B.B. King - The Thrill is Gone

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Nike Soccer Commercial Directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu (Babel, 21 Grams, Amores Perros)

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Bob Marley is Overrated?There are times when you come across a review of music that is so wrong that you have absolutely no choice but to disagree in the strongest terms.Link “When the calendar hits April 20, thoughts turn to man's other best friend: the marijuana plant. Yes, along with copious amounts of Reese's Pieces and trips to the nearest Jack in the Box drive-thru, almost everyone agrees

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Rene Magritte - The Listening Room

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How Do You Cook a Parrot?If you were going to name a female parrot, Zack would probably not be your first choice. Nevertheless, probably because it is so difficult for a layman to determine the sex of an exotic bird, Zack was the name of the of the female parrot that my family cared for when I was young.I recently had a disturbing dream involving this parrot and my father.I should explain that,

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Buttons~ Carl SandburgI have been watching the war map slammed up foradvertising in front of the newspaper office.Buttons--red and yellow buttons--blue and black buttons--are shoved back and forth across the map.A laughing young man, sunny with freckles,Climbs a ladder, yells a joke to somebody in the crowd,And then fixes a yellow button one inch westAnd follows the yellow button with a black

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A Big Ol' TwigImagine, if you will, a metal twig sticking out of the ground. Now, still using your imagination, either shrink yourself down to the size of an ant or enlarge the twig to the size of a ten-storey telephone pole.What was your first thought upon gazing at this large imaginary twig? If you thought "Oh MAN! This large metal twig is super amazingly incredibly groovy and I would like

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Freddie King - Ain't No Sunshine

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Senators FansI’m not a big hockey fan. I only watch hockey a little during the playoffs or if the Canadian national team is playing. If I had to choose a team I would choose the Toronto Maple Leafs just because they’ve been my father’s team for the past few hundred years.That being said, I am a better hockey fan than the average Ottawa Senator’s fan. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great

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Horse and Train - Alex Colville

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